Feel Bad.

This week is a busy week, as usual as it’s happened every month.

No time to read whatsapp messages, catch up after waking up from my doze-off dream, and reply after my work is done. (No, work is never finished.)

So far so good, until yesterday night. Or be exactly, this morning. Don’t roll all things as a snowball. But you know, girls are like this. Okay, fine, it’s excuse. We just can’t judge things separately. One of the bffs said she could not travel with us after I has begun to put efforts in arrangement. Good if you think that she at least told before we go on to book ticket. I did not, I swear. Not only her, but also another in the group made me slowly fed up. Seldom complaining about friends, especially best friends. And I has started to complain her to her although we are a group. No good, I know. I just need a way to transfer my bad feeling out of the mouth.

People continue to perceive I have a lot of friends in Penang. I have, but all just hi-bye friends. I hate hearing people say that “You sure have…”. Wtf you think I sure have. So understand me now. It’s a city that I has been working in. I cannot run to other places, even my New Zealand, because I feel like staying near to my family. It’s another secret, though. Feel good to know new colleagues, as they do not know my past study achievement. They won’t say something like,  “You sure can…” I appreciate my fast understandability, making me seems like cleverer than others. Somehow, I feel disapprove of this nature when people start to throw this sort-of statement to me. Especially, when the person knows me long enough.

I tried again, but again I failed. I don’t know what’s the issue lying in. It has to be resolved and it will affect the future. It did not make me feel good. Another add-on is the person did not care or just ignore my feeling. I agree with the gender equality. But I suppose, if one guy and one girl do not feel good in the same time, guy should be the one to take care of her feeling. At least, do something simple. Not asking you to calm down a crying baby. It is much easier. A hug or something will do. The change of attitude is another thing to make me feel bad enough and I hid it not to be a world explosion.

Facebook post is a good stalker, when you have totally broken the contact with someone. I feel like connect again, but how and what for. No, it’s just another bad idea. Don’t do it, and no point to do so.

When you say nobody concerns, perhaps it’s just because the person you wish to concern does not concern you. A little caring words. Also hard. Another unqualified question to ask for.

Done. Rant off.


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