Life has begun to change, with a new person into my life.
Focus shifted to and thought centered around a new person.
Talking to old affection, it’s totally an unspeakable feeling.
You care him not as much as before. Another way, friend’s caring.
Your brain signals you that your affection now is another person.
Although he never be your boyfriend, you just feel like he was and hanging out is a different thing than before.
It’s just beginning and I’m such a failure.
Supposing, theoretically, it should be sweetest three-month full of daily laughter and joy.
I fought with tears and anger.
Uncertainty and fear are pushing me to negative end.
Devil sound won over.
Even I did what I hatred the most. Say no when I didn’t mean to. Say leave when I didn’t wish so.
He all the times standing with me, taking in all my emotional distress. Despite his work stress.
Tell me to stay with him when I wanted to go away. Hug me tight and smile at my crying face. Doing all silly stuffs just to ease the awkward situation. Hold my hand and decrypt my everything to understand the situation.
After all these, he stick all my broken pieces and tell me just be yourself.
I expected. Till I forget things can fall out, forget I might sometimes not as how others expected.
I scared. Till one word can shake off my confidence, my faith.
I’m still a kid, least in boy girl relationship. A weak kid.
Doubting him is the least thing I ever wanted to do. But I’m doing it unconsciously.
Should and only make a promise to myself that I gotta learn and be blessed for how different we are but fall in love with each other.
And promise for him, let’s action be.
The stronger feeling he is the right one, the stronger feeling I’m afraid to lose him.
So gotta not lose and let him feel like be himself. Just like how he tells me always.